Peta has added a new dimension to the phrase and solved the world economic crunch with one letter to Ben and Jerry in which they propose we use human breast milk for ice cream production.

The Letter:

September 23, 2008

Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield,

CofoundersBen & Jerry’s Homemade Inc.

Dear Mr. Cohen and Mr. Greenfield,

On behalf of PETA and our more than 2 million members and supporters, I’d like to bring your attention to an innovative new idea from Switzerland that would bring a unique twist to Ben and Jerry’s.

Storchen restaurant is set to unveil a menu that includes soups, stews, and sauces made with at least 75 percent breast milk procured from human donors who are paid in exchange for their milk.  If Ben and Jerry’s replaced the cow’s milk in its ice cream with breast milk, your customers-and cows-would reap the benefits.  Using cow’s milk for your ice cream is a hazard to your customer’s health.   Dairy products have been linked to juvenile diabetes, allergies, constipation, obesity, and prostate and ovarian cancer.   The late Dr. Benjamin Spock, America’s leading authority on child care, spoke out against feeding cow’s milk to children, saying it may play a role in anemia, allergies, and juvenile diabetes and in the long term, will set kids up for obesity and heart disease-America’s number one cause of death.Animals will also benefit from the switch to breast milk.   Like all mammals, cows only produce milk during and after pregnancy, so to be able to constantly milk them, cows are forcefully impregnated every nine months.   After several years of living in filthy conditions and being forced to produce 10 times more milk than they would naturally, their exhausted bodies are turned into hamburgers or ground up for soup.  And of course, the veal industry could not survive without the dairy industry.   Because male calves can’t produce milk, dairy farmers take them from their mothers immediately after birth and sell them to veal farms, where they endure 14 to 17 weeks of torment chained inside a crate so small that they can’t even turn around.  The breast is best!   Won’t you give cows and their babies a break and our health a boost by switching from cow’s milk to breast milk in Ben and Jerry’s ice cream?

Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

Tracy Reiman Executive Vice President

This innovative idea has a tremendous amount of potential.  Milking stations employing hundreds of thousands of workers  could be set up.  Women all over the world could supplement family incomes in the most natural way,  selling their surplus, with daily visits  for collection and processing;  resolving the unemployment crunch and establishing an entire new industry.

The possibilities for restaurants are huge.  The product line could be used for custards, cheese, yogurt, butter,  creamy salad dressings, and sauces.  Natural food stores would jump on this, too spurring the manufacturing and sales of new display cases and signage.

We are amazed no one has thought of this before and applaud PETA for it’s innovative thinking and concern for the cows that currently are forced into the cruel practice of daily milking. 

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“I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.”

Woody Allen